the wizard website 
the wizard website
"the prosaic materialism of the majority condemns as madness the flashes of supersight that penetrate this veil of obvious empiricism"
welcome to my neocities site. it's new but i wanted to make my own space. i think i just wanna put some of me on here, i hope noone really looks at it. ill work on things like uploading my zines and whatever else im proud of.
i'm not gonna write about me but im interested in crabs and ecology and philosophy and politics so ose will find there way here i hope. i want to make thus my summer project. the sites title is tiqqun olam - the jewish principle of trying to put more beauty into the world than there already is. this website might do the opposite but its a contribution i can make :) and thats a nice thought. my tumblr is wizardhunterwizard :) idk how to add or change fonts i tried for like an hour but i give up.
meet the 
long eyed swimmer crab (Podopthalmus vigil). her feeding habits are poorly researched. she may be a pursuit predator. anecdote shows that they will pursue bright lights on researchers vessels at night, though this behaviour is shared by other swimmer crabs. the long eyes are also explained by this, they give good depth perception for snatching little creatures.
at the south pole they keep a sturgeon. isn't that fascinating. in the ice under the south pole, someone once thought it valuable to take a sturgeon. someone priorotised this. someone found pride and love and a sense of achievement taking their favourite fish to the remotest place in the world to rest. if aliens excavated it in a billion years what would they think of our society. is it a great bit or an act of passion. id very much like to ask whover placed her in her icy tomb.
i want to write. this is the predicament i'm in. the first question then is what do i want to write
well i don't want to say that which has been said before. there are 2 times when thats good. firstly is when you have an audience or a clear readership in mind. if i knew i was gonna hand this piece out to people it could have a purpose. having an audience will always give you something to say in that way. there are things that i would want to tell everyone which aren't my ideas but they bare repeating - i would want to introduce people to the idea that we don't need hierarchies or to the fact that we're alienated from nature or to the fact that i don't understand many atheists. the other reason i might wanna say that which has already been said is if i culd do it in a new way.
what i mean by saying something in your own way is relating it to your own experience.tying an idea to a new context. i don't find this to be self expression though. this is expressing your context. i for sure have new ways to say things about english folk culture but these are tied to my context i feel. many of those things i cn feel i am only saying because of like historicl factors. its all too modernist.
so do i want to say something entirely novel? i think so, but its less in an academic sense than in a personal sense. saying something novel academically is having a new idea, furthering understanding, and tied up in the colonial patriarchy its about proving your superiority. im not superior though and i don't want to play those games. what does this leave me to say though?
clacking away at this blog post (essay?)(poem?) i am thinking of nietsche. he was grappling with this i think. he was the start of the posthuman turn, he wanted to write something new too. but he was unpopular and weird. he repeated his ideas in many texts and got little notoriety until he died. i feel he spent his life grinding on this stone. that's why i like the word nietschean - i use it in my head often - its the struggle we all have to find something to grind up against - for him the root of the ascetic ideal but also the root of creativity
I'm not sure where this leads me but i think saying something new might be my own way of justifying self expression. i want to be recognised. thats why saying what has been said before isn't fun without an audience, it end up being a veil you hide behind. thats why i dont want to be academic, i dont want to write something that can be tied back to my material conditions. i want to be new in a way thats just me. maybe i mean authenticity in an existential sense. maybe i just want a cool edgy nietschean justification to write a diary,
i want to show this to my friends - to be recognised but would that defeat this.that gives me an audience to want to pander to, rather than just soc shitting onto ahtml document. eh fuck that ill see. im not gonna reread this.
i really see ursula le guin in how wizards are talked about on the internet these days. ursula le guin frequently venerates old age in a way that i personally haven't seen anywhere else. in her essay "space crone" she writes about how older women are left at the wayside and abandoned despite being such key sources of wisdom. i can't express it very well but her discussion of age has made me treat the elderly different, i agree with her that if we wanted to teach aliens about what it is to be human, i would rather my nan make first contact rather than any manly man explorer type. its not direct but i think i see this mirrored in online memes about wizards. ofc this competes with a sort of stoner culture wawith lots of irony between youthfulness and the wizard vibes. but nonetheless i think that the wizards niche meme has opened minds up to the elderly also being fruity little freaks sometimes ig. the meme kinda sublimates back into the respect for the elderly that helped build the idea of the wixard / witch to begin with, which then builds back to earthse and le guin. there is a uniquely gentle respect for age and queerness in being mesmerised by gandalfs fat honkers ig. idk if there was any point to this but i wanted to write something >-<